He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
