after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
