You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
