he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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