So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
