when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
