i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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