I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
