i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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