oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
