i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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