"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
