I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
