I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
