Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
