The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
