My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
There's always time for handjobs
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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