Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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