Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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