We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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