Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
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