I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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