I must be too annoying 4 u.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
