your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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