I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
