You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
