i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Sober January is a disaster.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
