I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
