I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
