is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
