I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
