i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
