I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
