Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
