I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
