Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
