so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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