Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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