Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
