he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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