Taylor Swift is so right about you.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
