Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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