No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Randomize
