They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
