I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
