im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
