do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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