Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
