I'm sorry my penis didn't work
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
