her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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