I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
